only if we run a train.
done.
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
Randomize
