At least make sure they are 18
Why
im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
I just want nice things and good sex
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Randomize
