OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
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