Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
Randomize
