Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
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