Apparently last night I sat at the bar with an upside down sharpie lightning bolt on my forehead, yelling "It's Harry Potter's birthday! Let me be on the qudditch team!" And I kept calling the bartender Dobby. There are videos.
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
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