So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
Randomize
