so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
Randomize
