i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
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