I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
Randomize
