we're blogging at a bar
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
Randomize
