i would punch a child for taco bell
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
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