sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
Another day, another engagement, another cat
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
