so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
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