Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
Sorry my hands just texted you
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
Randomize