Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
Randomize
