Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
We were destined to go to rehab together
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
Randomize
