So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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