it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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