ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
I just told a squirrel he was gonna suffocate because he was eating a plastic bag. and i stared at him till he spit it out. Its official, I love squirrels more than people. they actually listen.
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Randomize
