do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
On Saturday, I sharted on my roommates dog while trying to make it smell my farts. Today I got security clearance to work for one of the most respected and secretive govt agencies in the US
It's the American dream
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
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