I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
Randomize
