lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
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