The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
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