Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
Randomize
