I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
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