That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
We left the knife in your bed.
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
