the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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