The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
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