Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
it was like his penis was on wheels.
you have to choose: penises or morals?
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
Randomize
