is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
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