I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Randomize