You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
Randomize
