Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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