What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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