i haven't been laid since the bush administration. it's frustrating.
Some advice for success: 1) Go ugly early, it saves you time and money; 2) If you can't pork a princess, pound a pig for practice; and 3) Beauty is only a light switch away.
ur like the dr phil of bizarro world.
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
Randomize
