If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
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