what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
