I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
Randomize
