Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
Is her dick bigger than yours?
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
Randomize
