I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
Randomize
