Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
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