i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
I feel like I'm in dance class right now
it was like his penis was on wheels.
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
Randomize
