I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
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