Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
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