Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
Randomize
