Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
You know, be my cock's hype man.
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Randomize
