i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
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