I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
Randomize
