I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
I have feelings that need drinking.
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
Randomize
