I think I died a long time ago.
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Randomize