I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
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