Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
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