I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
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