To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Randomize
