Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
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