I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
Randomize
