If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
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