Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
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