that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
I woke up to an email from Groupon for 3 laser lipo treatments...on Valentine's Day...way to kick me when I'm down Groupon.
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
Help. Why am I so naked?
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
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