Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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