Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
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