Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
Randomize
