Hey man sorry I got all grabby
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
Randomize
