He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
Randomize
