I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
Randomize
