I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
Randomize
