someone get that fucking seahorse.
Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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