i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
two words: eviction party
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
Randomize
