I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
Randomize