i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
I just found out through a drunken phone call that my parents thought I'd grow up to be a porn star. It's kind of scary how accurate they were at how skilled I'd be at sex.
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